Spanish class is (almost) always appropriate.

High school students can make almost anything sound dirty. It's a real battle to keep blush-worthy items out of the classroom, and I have to repeat the phrase, "Spanish class is always appropriate," at least four times a week. I learned pretty quickly to avoid saying things like, "This test is longer and harder than the last one, so make sure to study," because of the snorts of laughter from two or three corners of the room. Snigger, longer and harder, he he he. I'm usually pretty good at thinking about what I say beforehand, scanning the phraseology with my Will-Teenagers-Twist-This-To-Be-Sexual filter, and rewording as necessary. This is a very specific skill that high school teachers develop.

This last week, however, my filter has turned out to be faulty.

How else can I explain saying things like, "Show your Peter to your neighbor" or "There are no double D's in Spanish." OUT LOUD. IN FRONT OF STUDENTS. I must be going insane.

For my curious friends, the context: Peter was the name of a monster they drew as I explained what he looked like in Spanish to practice body part vocabulary. Spanish words don't have two letter d's in a row.

Any advice for fixing the filter? I don't know how much more I can take.

Spelling

One of the glories of being a Spanish teacher is that I don't have to read much of my students' English writing. On the rare occasions I do, it makes me want to teach 5th grade grammar and spelling. To all the 5th graders in the country. I would be the most-loathed teacher in these United States, and dadblastit, they would actually be able to communicate with others in their mother tongue. Instead of curling up under my desk and crying (I save that for meany-pants parents), I have been compiling a list of crazily misspelled words for your reading enjoyment and a fun game.

Because if I think about it to much, its enough too make a girl waist a way in destress. Honestly, there lose cents of grammatical structure is the mane issue, but I could ring their necks for some of the spelling mistakes I've scene. Seriously, it makes me want to dye. Lets take a pique into the sole of the problem:

The homonyms... O, the homonyms. One student wrote he was excited to meat Megan Fox... which might be a fun episode of CSI, but nothing at all what he expected. A doodle on the back of a quiz had someone yelling in distress, "Oh no! A bare!" GACK! A bare what? The suspense is killing me! Back in my student teaching days, a student wrote a persuasive essay about keeping pop machines in schools because of all the prophets that come out of it. Why look, Elisha is only a dollar! Or do I want a Diet Moses Dew?

Unfortunately, reading misspelled words all day plays with one's mind. I just misspelled "dollar" three times.

Ok, here's the game! Identify correctly the following words in the comments, and you might wean a pries! I've even been warming up your brains.

1. annor
2. musten
3. saro
4. baised
5. barry
6. zizers
7. krymet
8. scelotins (an easy one!)
   

Sick Day Diary

I felt seriously ill yesterday - the vomity kind. First period was almost over. We were practicing reflexive verbs (whiteboard markers on the desks - they're colorful and easy to read from a distance. Plus, writing on desks makes them feel naughty enough to like grammar drills... weird). And I was certain if we continued I would projectile vomit all over three or four of them. So I told them to put their stuff away while I stepped out in the hallway to lean over the garbage can. They're good kids. Anyway, long story short, I went home.

And stayed there.

Here I am, still at home. Feeling gloriously rebellious even though I was legitimately sick. I do feel much better today (lightheaded and tired, but no tummy troubles). Here was my day:

7:27 Wake up, check time, snuggle with the handsome husband
8ish Read murder mystery (Anne Perry... good stuff)
9ish (Chapter 5) Get hungry, go to kitchen
9:05 Realize kitchen is a dump and wash all the dishes
9:28 Still hungry, make oatmeal with blueberries
9:38 Eat and read... for hours (the reading... the oatmeal only lasted 15 minutes or so)
12:05 Heat soup. Eat and read... again
3:00 Finish book, watch Bones
4:00 Prep for dinner
5:00 Go to gym (I am feeling all the way better by this time)
7:00 Come home, ice knees, blog.

This was the best sick day ever. Sick enough to avoid severe guilt. Not too sick to enjoy. And my kids watched a travel movie. Everyone's happy! So, thanks, nausea, for coming and leaving so quickly so as to improve everyone's Thursday.

Remember, remember, the fifth of November. Not for silly old Guy Fawkes, but for my silly daddy, who passed away 13 years ago today. He is still sorely missed.

Overexuberance

Yesterday, I made six mini-apple crisps with apples I picked myself with a recipe I developed. Perfect with the homemade vanilla ice cream. I also made two kinds of cookies for 2nd period because they won a vocabulary contest, dinner for today (late-season eggplant in a spicy Pasta alla Norma with chicken meatballs), roasted carrots and mashed potatoes for dinner that night, and went to the gym. It was chaos.

And I loved it.