Crusher's newest tricks

He can now twist his head on top of my already-diminished bladder, causing a sharp and urgent need to pee. Right That Second.

Yesterday, David and I went for a walk.  It was 28 degrees or so.  I went to the bathroom first, then immediately put on boots, coat, hat, scarf, and gloves.

And had to pee again.  Not 2 minutes later.

David said, "Are you serious?"
I did not deign to answer except with my waddly hustle to the bathroom.  Or maybe I said, "Shut up," or "That's not nice," or some other witty response.

Week 35, day 4

The three of us at a Christmas party

My lovely cousin wrote me a message, asking how things were going.  As I typed, it hit me - I'm full term in 10 days.  He could come in 10 days and be healthy and fine.  If it were easier for me to stand, I'd go take a picture of the "nursery" to post.  Rolls of Christmas paper, a spilled box of ribbons, piles of papers (to file, pregnancy info, baby info, stuff I can't figure out what to do with, coupons, notebooks, cards I was supposed to send, magazines), piles of books, the clothes drying rack (with clean clothes drying - 10 points for me!), baby stuff in boxes, baby stuff out of boxes waiting to be cleaned and put away, a lamp (on the floor because there's no room anywhere else).  Alas!  The description will have to do, as I'm definitely too tired to get up and photograph the chaos.  I have my work cut out for me.  Preferably, before I go back to work.

New symptoms: 

• Can't breathe.  He's crushing my lungs.  We walked to the grocery store the other day and I had to stop to catch my breath.  It's one mile away.  At work, I have to catch my breath halfway up the stairs.  
• Braxton Hicks.  Go, uterus, go!  It's practicing away, which is extra fun with my lungs in the condition they're in.  More gasping for breath as the lungs get even squisheder.
• Itchy belly.  
• Poo problems.  No details (you're welcome).
• Can't sit, stand, or lie down comfortably for longer than 30 minutes.  I'm still grunting (in a most dignified fashion) every time I move.

Dealing with diabetes:

After the first two weeks, it got easier.  I don't cry when people offer me cookies anymore.  My numbers have evened out to what they are supposed to be the vast majority of the time.  Most of my cake cravings are gone.  That makes being noble easier.

I am frequently not noble.  Last week, I had the most divine french toast stuffed with berries and whipped cream cheese.  Felt sick all afternoon.  Worth it.  Christmas morning, I cheated by having a clementine with my sausage strata (I'm not supposed to have fruit before lunch).  My numbers were fine.  DEFINITELY worth it, and tempting me to cheat with fruit more regularly.

Best meals that kept my numbers good so far:

• Chicken Saltimbocca with Hearty Minestrone (no noodles).  Winning number: 95
• Turkey, gravy, sauteed green beans with maple pecans and orange essence, small serving of mashed potatoes, pan-roasted pear salad with balsamic glaze.  Soda water and cranberry juice mocktail.  Winning number: 112
• Baked salmon with lemony crust, steamed broccoli, blue potato.  Winning number: 97

My biggest breakthrough was noticing the stress pattern.  My blood sugar is crazy high when I'm stressed and low when I'm relaxed.  Even when I eat the same exact meal.  Then I get stressed out over being stressed out, exacerbating the problem and adding to the my-cortisol-is-hurting-my-baby guilt.  It's a good thing it's Christmas break.  I only have to work for 18 more days.

Official count: 32 days left.  Hurray for Crusher!

I might be 32 weeks pregnant?

That sounds right.  I think last week I was telling people I was 31 weeks pregnant, but it's getting more and more difficult to remember things like that.  Or any things.  Or walk up the stairs.

I'm also feeling a little brain-fogged after waking up after a nightmare SO ANGRY at David I couldn't get back to sleep (he wouldn't turn his music down in the dream, and I had to call my mom to tell her I had just given birth to a baby girl).  So I've been awake for a while.

Now I've forgotten what I was going to blog about.

I have a student who asks me a random pregnancy question every day.  Most of them are normal Can he hear?  Does he pee?  Do you feel him kick?  Yes, yes, yes.  But on Tuesday, he had the Best Question Ever.

If you throw up, could you throw up your baby?

I could have said, "Yes, it's really scary, but usually they just have you swallow the baby again and it's ok."  Or even, "You have zero understanding of female anatomy, huh?"

But I said with a straight face, "No, the uterus is not connected to the stomach."

Until all the kids around him started laughing.  Then I laughed to the point of tears.  It's ok.  He can take some mockery.  This is Star Wars boy.  The same boy who said, "But I thought Star Wars was filmed on other planets."

In diabetic world, I'm testing adding some unsweetened coco powder and stevia to my warm vanilla milk.  I'll let you know how it goes.  I miss hot chocolate.  And all chocolate.

Pregnancy Body

Two weeks ago, the very morning my third trimester started, my body changed.

My belly looks like a sportsball hidden in my shirt. That, combined with an achy pain down on my pelvic bone (preparing to separate! says the doctor), make me walk like I'm on a ship in stormy seas.  It's not quite a waddle, but it's definitely not a walk.  I feel like I'm rolling forward on uneven ground.  And I let out porcine grunts every time I get out of the car.  Or into the car.  Or stand up.  Or sit down.  Even more hilarious, when I'm lying on my side and want to change sides, I try to roll.  Sometimes I get stuck on my back in the middle.  So I try using my limbs to propel me the rest of the way by waving them in the air.  I feel like a beetle stuck on its back.  I don't usually hit David with the flailing bug-legs.  When I (accidentally) do, he very kindly gives me a little push to launch me to my destination.

There are still 10 weeks to go, folks!  It's only going to get more entertaining from here.

Probably the most disappointing pregnancy body development, I failed my glucose test.  For the laypeople, that's the blood sugar test in which they take a pregnant woman, make her FAST and go to the clinic that is not open early enough.  There, she has to chug a sweet syrup (think warm 7up before the carbonated water has been added - thick and painfully sweet) and get poked every hour for two hours.  All while not eating, drinking, or leaving the waiting room.  By the end, I had the shakes and the most severe case of the grumps in memory.  Ask David or Stephanie.  It was bad.

Anyway, I failed (or, rather, my pancreas was sabotaged by my overabundance of pregnancy hormones), and have gestational diabetes.

I cried for a few minutes hours to get used to the idea of a) being a diabetic and b) not being able to have carbs or sugar for the holidays.  Think about that last one for a while.  Turkey, but no stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls, or pie.  No alcohol, obviously, but also no sparkling cider.

I was floored.  I've been pretty darn conscientious about what and how much I eat.  I've been exercising some.  The doc reassured me it's just genetics, and I only barely didn't pass the test (I was three points off the last blood draw).  Well, cussedy cusswords.

Now, I get to check my sugars four times a day and go on a diet that I think might drive me to the brink.  I still have a phone meeting with the dietician, and I have lots of questions.  Hopefully, I'll be able to post some fun holiday recipes that are diabetes friendly.  Also, I probably won't gain a gazillion pounds, for which I will be grateful when February rolls around.  And most importantly, Crusher will be healthier and under 13 pounds.  Hopefully.

Pregnancy Brain

I've been thinking about this post for a while, and recent events compel me to finish it and publish it.

My brain is dying slowly.

Think I'm being melodramatic?  Consider these happenings:

• I just tried to steam broccoli with no water in the pot.  That can melt the pot.  Thankfully, I was hungry enough to wonder why my water hadn't started boiling and looked.
• I turned up the south hill instead of down to drive to work.  The same work I've been driving to every day for five years.  I was late that day.
• I forget the names of my coworkers... some of whom I talk to every day.
• I forgot that the oven was hot after baking cupcakes and burned my arm.  I then forgot to take the cupcakes out of the oven.  It took a good long soak to wash the burnt cake off.

And these are just the things I remember.  I'll poll David to see if there are more later.

Fun and not-so-fun

It's fun being smack in the middle of the second trimester - I have a bump!  My hair is fantastic! I can wear stretchy pants every day and no one says anything!  

The things I really like:

Funny conversations with strangers

At Ross yesterday, we were looking at baby clothes when a complete stranger asked if I was pregnant. She then started a conversation about hospitals (I should change mine) and how she was in the hospital for five days because of a third degree episiotomy.  Which she then explained further.  I will spare you the details, both now and in the future, as my perinium is something I will not describe to anyone but my doctor.  You're welcome.

I was serious about my hair

It never falls out and doesn't get greasy.  I washed my hair on Tuesday and it looked fantastic all week. I only washed it on Saturday because the idea of it was grossing me out.  The actual hair looked great!

  

Feeling Crusher move

Followed closely by...

David feeling Crusher move

Hearing Crusher's heartbeat with an app on my phone

Having an excuse to look at baby things

And when I cry looking at cute things, people think I'm cute and not weird.  At least that's what they say.

The things I miss:

• Soft cheese, especially a nice herbed chevre.  Or maybe blue cheese on salad.  Feta... mmm... feta.... Cotija too.  Goshdarnit.
• Turkey sandwiches (especially this summer, when it was a serious craving)
• Cold beer on a hot day

If I could get rid of one symptom of pregnancy, it would be:

1st trimester:  nausea

2nd trimester:  round ligament pain

I could also do without swollen feet and acne.  My body's taking the pregnancy "glow" a step too far with that.

Additional Notes:

This afternoon, David picked up a 17.5 pound weight and handed it to me, saying, "No wonder you're tired!  You've been carrying this around all day."  That makes me feel a lot better about coming straight home and crashing on the couch.  Especially since most of those pounds are right smack in my belly.

Speaking of my belly, I noticed today at work that all my coworkers say hi, glance at my face, then drop their eyes straight to the belly where they stay for the remainder of the conversation.  Hello!  My eyes are up here!

bump!

At 19 weeks, 4 days

At 22 weeks, 6 days

The little boy in the bump!