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| At 19 weeks, 4 days |
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| At 22 weeks, 6 days |
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| The little boy in the bump! |
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
First Days
The first day of school was a minor disaster. My computer refused to turn on even though it worked fine the day before and the week before that. I called the tech guys, and was on the phone on hold as my 1st period class was wandering in. At 7:54, while I'm still on the phone, the mom of my student with autism walks in to chat. Class starts at 8. She's talking to me. The tech guy is talking to me. I'm trying to make sure the students know where to sit and what to get out. I have nightmares like this.
I have to chastise two students for being on their phones and threaten to take them away if I see them again. I choose to ignore the eye-rolls for now.
I have to have a stern conversation culminating in this speech with another student: Tomorrow, when you walk in the door, you either need a schedule change for me to sign or a behavior change. Your attitude today was completely unacceptable and will not work in this classroom.
And, in a get-to-know-you session, my freshmen homeroom largely had a good time. Except for the guy who sat on top of the chair back with his ipod blaring. When I asked him to sit on the seat and remove his ipod, he said in his best I'm-a-freshman-smartass voice, "What if I don't?" ... And, I admit it, I laughed at him. To his face. And replied, "Then you go to the office for defiance. That's a really stupid thing to get in trouble for on the first day." Thankfully, he was smart enough to see the sense in that and complied.
Troubling, but not a behavioral problem, is the other freshman wonder who told the class that his fun facts about himself are his love for grape-flavored food and his HATRED of cops (Caps his). He then told us about a couple of run-ins with the police. All before the tender age of 14. All things he could have prevented. And this week, I had them dream about their ideal futures. His stopped at 16 with getting a driver's license and "pimping out" a short bus to ride with his friends. Everyone else wrote about exotic adventures, having families, dream jobs. The only thing this kid could muster for a job was professional thief. I tried to talk to him. I doubt I got through.
But after the first day, we settled into a groove. My defiant kids stopped eye-rolling and started participating and (gasp) laughing at most of my jokes. My excited kids are still excited. The beginning of the year is a good time.
I have to chastise two students for being on their phones and threaten to take them away if I see them again. I choose to ignore the eye-rolls for now.
I have to have a stern conversation culminating in this speech with another student: Tomorrow, when you walk in the door, you either need a schedule change for me to sign or a behavior change. Your attitude today was completely unacceptable and will not work in this classroom.
And, in a get-to-know-you session, my freshmen homeroom largely had a good time. Except for the guy who sat on top of the chair back with his ipod blaring. When I asked him to sit on the seat and remove his ipod, he said in his best I'm-a-freshman-smartass voice, "What if I don't?" ... And, I admit it, I laughed at him. To his face. And replied, "Then you go to the office for defiance. That's a really stupid thing to get in trouble for on the first day." Thankfully, he was smart enough to see the sense in that and complied.
Troubling, but not a behavioral problem, is the other freshman wonder who told the class that his fun facts about himself are his love for grape-flavored food and his HATRED of cops (Caps his). He then told us about a couple of run-ins with the police. All before the tender age of 14. All things he could have prevented. And this week, I had them dream about their ideal futures. His stopped at 16 with getting a driver's license and "pimping out" a short bus to ride with his friends. Everyone else wrote about exotic adventures, having families, dream jobs. The only thing this kid could muster for a job was professional thief. I tried to talk to him. I doubt I got through.
But after the first day, we settled into a groove. My defiant kids stopped eye-rolling and started participating and (gasp) laughing at most of my jokes. My excited kids are still excited. The beginning of the year is a good time.
Summer's End
Things I'm trying to soak up before summer's gone:
- Drinking coffee on the deck
- Eating dinner with David outside and lingering through sunset
- Lemonade
- Playing on, in, and around large bodies of water
- Wavy, tousled hair looks great with sunglasses
- Lazy loungy days
- Honeybees
- Staying warm in one layer
- The fullness of all the leaves on the trees hanging over the street
- Lack of crabby teenagers and crabby parents
- Having time to cook anything I want
- Fresh herbs outside to use in any meal I want without paying for them
- Reading a whole book in a day
- Peaches and berries
Friday, August 24, 2012
On being taken over by Progesterone Aliens
I mentioned in my last post that my appetite has been acting like a pubescent boy. I eat. Thirty minutes later, I am ravenous again. I eat and eat and eat all day long. Surprisingly, my weight gain is not out of control (yet). Granted, I don't fit into 85% of my clothes already, but I'm pretty sure it's mostly baby belly. This is fine. It's a little problematic when I have to go out in public in something other than yoga pants, but most of the time I feel happy about my bump.
Until I start having a fit of pubescentesque emotional out-of-controlledness. I know there are two made up words in that sentence and I don't care. I've been suffering from three major kinds of breakdowns.
1. The Sentimental Melt I cried three times at church last Sunday. There was a cute baby with a proud dad. I saw the unborn baby of a pregnant friend move in her stomach. And I forget the reason for the last cry. I think someone came and gave me a hug. There's no stopping it. The tears flow without permission and occasionally without reason.
2. The Bouts of Sensitive Crazy I felt too weak to finish the workout with David, so I started crying, ate some cheese while sitting on the dark stairwell, and felt like the biggest failure in the world. I fell asleep on the couch, so I burst into angry tears and stomped up the stairs because I didn't just go to bed when I wanted to. I accidentally made more rice noodles than I needed for the Pad See Ew, so I suffered a pre-dinner emotional slump. The list goes on.
3. The Toddler Temper Tantrum Last Thursday, poor David had a root canal and I was his chauffeur. While I was taking him home, traffic was probably normal, but it felt like everyone was conspiring to cut me off and slam on their brakes. We stopped at Zips to get David (and Crusher) a milkshake. I decided to order a cheeseburger because I had to rush off to a work meeting for which I was about to be late. There were pickles on my burger. Pickles are gross. At the first red light, I opened up the burger to pick off the ickies. But the light turned green, and I spilled burger sauce all over trying to put it down and drive. So I yelled, "I just want to eat my cheeseburger!" There was an expletive in there. I'll let you fill in the blank for yourselves. And when we got home, I was still so angry I bumped the curb trying to park, burst into tears, and slammed the door. Hard. Poor drugged-up David was in the car with a swollen, painful face, and here I am acting like a 13-year old girl who just got her phone confiscated in the middle of her first text conversation with her crush.
Somebody give that man a medal!
Until I start having a fit of pubescentesque emotional out-of-controlledness. I know there are two made up words in that sentence and I don't care. I've been suffering from three major kinds of breakdowns.
1. The Sentimental Melt I cried three times at church last Sunday. There was a cute baby with a proud dad. I saw the unborn baby of a pregnant friend move in her stomach. And I forget the reason for the last cry. I think someone came and gave me a hug. There's no stopping it. The tears flow without permission and occasionally without reason.
2. The Bouts of Sensitive Crazy I felt too weak to finish the workout with David, so I started crying, ate some cheese while sitting on the dark stairwell, and felt like the biggest failure in the world. I fell asleep on the couch, so I burst into angry tears and stomped up the stairs because I didn't just go to bed when I wanted to. I accidentally made more rice noodles than I needed for the Pad See Ew, so I suffered a pre-dinner emotional slump. The list goes on.
3. The Toddler Temper Tantrum Last Thursday, poor David had a root canal and I was his chauffeur. While I was taking him home, traffic was probably normal, but it felt like everyone was conspiring to cut me off and slam on their brakes. We stopped at Zips to get David (and Crusher) a milkshake. I decided to order a cheeseburger because I had to rush off to a work meeting for which I was about to be late. There were pickles on my burger. Pickles are gross. At the first red light, I opened up the burger to pick off the ickies. But the light turned green, and I spilled burger sauce all over trying to put it down and drive. So I yelled, "I just want to eat my cheeseburger!" There was an expletive in there. I'll let you fill in the blank for yourselves. And when we got home, I was still so angry I bumped the curb trying to park, burst into tears, and slammed the door. Hard. Poor drugged-up David was in the car with a swollen, painful face, and here I am acting like a 13-year old girl who just got her phone confiscated in the middle of her first text conversation with her crush.
Somebody give that man a medal!
Monday, August 13, 2012
Food!
We arrived home from vacation late Saturday night (more on that later), and I was delighted to see my new Cook's Illustrated. This is the single best cooking resource I have ever used, and I read cookbooks for fun and relaxation. It's delicious science, and I love it. This current issue has a recipe for Pad See Ew, my favorite Thai dish. When I saw it, I cried with happiness (see post regarding 1st trimester woes).
And then I had an epiphany: I could read about food again without making a frantic run for the bathroom!
The last Cook's issue, I tried to read a little article explaining the most efficient way to shuck corn and failed. The idea of dealing with or (shudder) eating corn made my stomach turn and I had to put away the magazine unread. Corn, for heaven's sake. The mildest of foods. David pointed out that within 15 minutes of the shucking revulsion incident, I was reading to him in detail about the process of dissecting and preserving Einstein's brain, a topic which didn't bother my sensitive tummy at all. I don't consider human brain to be food. No problem. Dissect away!
So I spent a blissful morning reading my recipes and planning to make Pad See Ew, Saag Paneer, and French apple cake - hopefully this week. Yum. Then I got hungry and had to eat second breakfast. After second breakfast, I went to the grocery store where I made about 47 impulse purchases because I was hungry again. At noon, I ate lunch. At 12:56, I ate second lunch because I was famished. At 3:00, I ate a quarter of a cantaloupe and iced coffee. At 5:15, cheese and crackers. There was a cookie in there somewhere. Dinner's at 7. It's 5:34, and I'm not sure I can wait that long. My normal-sized stomach has been replaced with that of a pubescent male. I am pretty sure I will always be hungry. After not gaining any weight 1st trimester, I guess it's time to grow a belly.
And then I had an epiphany: I could read about food again without making a frantic run for the bathroom!
The last Cook's issue, I tried to read a little article explaining the most efficient way to shuck corn and failed. The idea of dealing with or (shudder) eating corn made my stomach turn and I had to put away the magazine unread. Corn, for heaven's sake. The mildest of foods. David pointed out that within 15 minutes of the shucking revulsion incident, I was reading to him in detail about the process of dissecting and preserving Einstein's brain, a topic which didn't bother my sensitive tummy at all. I don't consider human brain to be food. No problem. Dissect away!
So I spent a blissful morning reading my recipes and planning to make Pad See Ew, Saag Paneer, and French apple cake - hopefully this week. Yum. Then I got hungry and had to eat second breakfast. After second breakfast, I went to the grocery store where I made about 47 impulse purchases because I was hungry again. At noon, I ate lunch. At 12:56, I ate second lunch because I was famished. At 3:00, I ate a quarter of a cantaloupe and iced coffee. At 5:15, cheese and crackers. There was a cookie in there somewhere. Dinner's at 7. It's 5:34, and I'm not sure I can wait that long. My normal-sized stomach has been replaced with that of a pubescent male. I am pretty sure I will always be hungry. After not gaining any weight 1st trimester, I guess it's time to grow a belly.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Names: how to be cruel to your children forever
I've been looking at lists of baby names recently and decided this game is hard. I want a name that is meaningful, difficult to mock, goes with my last name without sounding stupid, and is unique but not weird. That's a lot to think about. Mostly, we've come up with joke lists of names we'd never actually name our children (Crusher came from one of these lists). Hercules, Vader, Jezebel, Hammer, Mousse, Influenza, etc. You try! See, it's a fun game!
Today, I started reading other people's comments about name lists. Here are some of their suggestions from the literary list:
Piggy
Ariel (for a boy)
Cullen
Jekyl
Gandalf
Peeta
Stark
Bufffy
Swayzee
Xena
Cloud
Squall
And one I'm considering telling people just for kicks: Sloane
I can't judge, really, because they might be joking. They might be 13 years old. They might want their children to be mocked to build character. But seriously, people! For your children's sake!
Today, I started reading other people's comments about name lists. Here are some of their suggestions from the literary list:
Piggy
Ariel (for a boy)
Cullen
Jekyl
Gandalf
Peeta
Stark
Bufffy
Swayzee
Xena
Cloud
Squall
And one I'm considering telling people just for kicks: Sloane
I can't judge, really, because they might be joking. They might be 13 years old. They might want their children to be mocked to build character. But seriously, people! For your children's sake!
Pregnant, part 1
Now that my first trimester is almost over (oh please, oh please, be over soon), I feel the need to write a venting post about the woes of the first 13 weeks to be published when everyone knows about little Crusher.
*Crusher is the name for our firstborn. At first it was a joke, but after referring fondly to my forming fetus as Crusher for the last 9 weeks, it's grown on me. I think I like it. It doesn't even sound like a joke anymore.
A couple weeks ago, I was reading the symptoms of the first trimester out loud to my roommate, Stephanie. As I put that sentence into words, I realize I owe her an apology. That's boring and lame. I should talk about more interesting things. Sorry, Steph! As I was suffering from all but two on the list, here is a list of those symptoms and how I (mostly) coped (but not without some whining).
Fatigue: I slept. And slept and slept and slept. Last night, I went to bed at around 10 and woke up this morning at 9:24. I frequently take naps for three hours at a time, wake up, eat dinner, and go back to bed for the night. When I was working, I came home from work, ate a snack, and napped as long as I could. If I didn't take naps, I fell asleep anyway. In an upright sitting position at small group during prayers, for example (sorry, small group!). I never liked naps. I still don't like them, really. They make me feel groggy and grumpy. But they happen whether I like them or not, so I might as well be in bed instead of getting a terrible neck cramp for which I cannot take ibprofun on the couch, at the table, in a chair, or on the floor. I didn't know a person could be this tired. Making a placenta will do this, apparently.
Nausea: Morning sickness, yes. But the nausea is the Absolute Worst in the evening and right before bed. This, unfortunately, is generally the time to hang out with people and talk to them. Magic pills from the doctor help, but I feel funny about taking pills (yes, I lean toward Unreasonably Safe Behaviors). I take it when I have to interact with people during a peak queasy period. Otherwise, I try to be a good listener and questions that will have long answers. I can listen, I just don't want to talk. How IS your little brother? He just got out of jail, right? What's your dissertation about again? Tell me about your boss. How did the monthlong visit with your in-laws go?
Excess saliva: I'm not actually sure what to do about this. Don't wear white while giving in to a cheetos craving. That's really the only thing I learned.
Gas: David and I developed a system for this years ago. If I fart in public, he apologizes. If he does, I say, "Excuse me!" Most of the time I get the short end of the stick, but I anticipate an evening of the score shortly.
Food aversions and cravings: I used to love food. Everything about it! I loved thinking about menus, grocery shopping, cooking, and eating. I hope that comes back. It's a big joy I took for granted. I don't really like food anymore. Except saltines and yogurt. I like those still. Vegetables have developed a strong bitter flavor and all taste the same. I eat two bites of chicken and feel suddenly full (or nauseated). I can't even be in the same room as eggs or garlic. Now, a girl can't live a happy life on saltines and bland pasta. So here's hoping I can eat again soon and like it.
Headaches: Use headaches as an excuse to go to bed early (see Fatigue), watch your favorite TV show on Netflix, or eat ice cream. Ice cream is a little known home remedy for headaches and many other symptoms on this list.
Clothes feeling snugger: Summertime is the best time for this. I pretty much just wear yoga pants or dresses. Every day.
Mood swings - I am going to cry at some point every day. Recognize this fact. Stop wearing mascara. Cry happily whenever I want to. That puppy is so cute - sob! There's a baby shoe on the sidewalk, poor baby! - sniffle. I can't have gorgonzola on my salad - tear sliding quietly down my cheek. I just want to like food again - wail!
Worry: Am I even pregnant? Is Crusher ok? I've been waiting to hear a heartbeat for about 10 weeks now, which feels like an eternity. I only have to wait two more days. In the meantime, here is my first baby bump picture:
*Crusher is the name for our firstborn. At first it was a joke, but after referring fondly to my forming fetus as Crusher for the last 9 weeks, it's grown on me. I think I like it. It doesn't even sound like a joke anymore.
A couple weeks ago, I was reading the symptoms of the first trimester out loud to my roommate, Stephanie. As I put that sentence into words, I realize I owe her an apology. That's boring and lame. I should talk about more interesting things. Sorry, Steph! As I was suffering from all but two on the list, here is a list of those symptoms and how I (mostly) coped (but not without some whining).
Fatigue: I slept. And slept and slept and slept. Last night, I went to bed at around 10 and woke up this morning at 9:24. I frequently take naps for three hours at a time, wake up, eat dinner, and go back to bed for the night. When I was working, I came home from work, ate a snack, and napped as long as I could. If I didn't take naps, I fell asleep anyway. In an upright sitting position at small group during prayers, for example (sorry, small group!). I never liked naps. I still don't like them, really. They make me feel groggy and grumpy. But they happen whether I like them or not, so I might as well be in bed instead of getting a terrible neck cramp for which I cannot take ibprofun on the couch, at the table, in a chair, or on the floor. I didn't know a person could be this tired. Making a placenta will do this, apparently.
Nausea: Morning sickness, yes. But the nausea is the Absolute Worst in the evening and right before bed. This, unfortunately, is generally the time to hang out with people and talk to them. Magic pills from the doctor help, but I feel funny about taking pills (yes, I lean toward Unreasonably Safe Behaviors). I take it when I have to interact with people during a peak queasy period. Otherwise, I try to be a good listener and questions that will have long answers. I can listen, I just don't want to talk. How IS your little brother? He just got out of jail, right? What's your dissertation about again? Tell me about your boss. How did the monthlong visit with your in-laws go?
Excess saliva: I'm not actually sure what to do about this. Don't wear white while giving in to a cheetos craving. That's really the only thing I learned.
Gas: David and I developed a system for this years ago. If I fart in public, he apologizes. If he does, I say, "Excuse me!" Most of the time I get the short end of the stick, but I anticipate an evening of the score shortly.
Food aversions and cravings: I used to love food. Everything about it! I loved thinking about menus, grocery shopping, cooking, and eating. I hope that comes back. It's a big joy I took for granted. I don't really like food anymore. Except saltines and yogurt. I like those still. Vegetables have developed a strong bitter flavor and all taste the same. I eat two bites of chicken and feel suddenly full (or nauseated). I can't even be in the same room as eggs or garlic. Now, a girl can't live a happy life on saltines and bland pasta. So here's hoping I can eat again soon and like it.
Headaches: Use headaches as an excuse to go to bed early (see Fatigue), watch your favorite TV show on Netflix, or eat ice cream. Ice cream is a little known home remedy for headaches and many other symptoms on this list.
Clothes feeling snugger: Summertime is the best time for this. I pretty much just wear yoga pants or dresses. Every day.
Mood swings - I am going to cry at some point every day. Recognize this fact. Stop wearing mascara. Cry happily whenever I want to. That puppy is so cute - sob! There's a baby shoe on the sidewalk, poor baby! - sniffle. I can't have gorgonzola on my salad - tear sliding quietly down my cheek. I just want to like food again - wail!
Worry: Am I even pregnant? Is Crusher ok? I've been waiting to hear a heartbeat for about 10 weeks now, which feels like an eternity. I only have to wait two more days. In the meantime, here is my first baby bump picture:
11 weeks, 5 days
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