I might be 32 weeks pregnant?

That sounds right.  I think last week I was telling people I was 31 weeks pregnant, but it's getting more and more difficult to remember things like that.  Or any things.  Or walk up the stairs.

I'm also feeling a little brain-fogged after waking up after a nightmare SO ANGRY at David I couldn't get back to sleep (he wouldn't turn his music down in the dream, and I had to call my mom to tell her I had just given birth to a baby girl).  So I've been awake for a while.

Now I've forgotten what I was going to blog about.

I have a student who asks me a random pregnancy question every day.  Most of them are normal Can he hear?  Does he pee?  Do you feel him kick?  Yes, yes, yes.  But on Tuesday, he had the Best Question Ever.

If you throw up, could you throw up your baby?

I could have said, "Yes, it's really scary, but usually they just have you swallow the baby again and it's ok."  Or even, "You have zero understanding of female anatomy, huh?"

But I said with a straight face, "No, the uterus is not connected to the stomach."

Until all the kids around him started laughing.  Then I laughed to the point of tears.  It's ok.  He can take some mockery.  This is Star Wars boy.  The same boy who said, "But I thought Star Wars was filmed on other planets."

In diabetic world, I'm testing adding some unsweetened coco powder and stevia to my warm vanilla milk.  I'll let you know how it goes.  I miss hot chocolate.  And all chocolate.

Pregnancy Body

Two weeks ago, the very morning my third trimester started, my body changed.

My belly looks like a sportsball hidden in my shirt. That, combined with an achy pain down on my pelvic bone (preparing to separate! says the doctor), make me walk like I'm on a ship in stormy seas.  It's not quite a waddle, but it's definitely not a walk.  I feel like I'm rolling forward on uneven ground.  And I let out porcine grunts every time I get out of the car.  Or into the car.  Or stand up.  Or sit down.  Even more hilarious, when I'm lying on my side and want to change sides, I try to roll.  Sometimes I get stuck on my back in the middle.  So I try using my limbs to propel me the rest of the way by waving them in the air.  I feel like a beetle stuck on its back.  I don't usually hit David with the flailing bug-legs.  When I (accidentally) do, he very kindly gives me a little push to launch me to my destination.

There are still 10 weeks to go, folks!  It's only going to get more entertaining from here.

Probably the most disappointing pregnancy body development, I failed my glucose test.  For the laypeople, that's the blood sugar test in which they take a pregnant woman, make her FAST and go to the clinic that is not open early enough.  There, she has to chug a sweet syrup (think warm 7up before the carbonated water has been added - thick and painfully sweet) and get poked every hour for two hours.  All while not eating, drinking, or leaving the waiting room.  By the end, I had the shakes and the most severe case of the grumps in memory.  Ask David or Stephanie.  It was bad.

Anyway, I failed (or, rather, my pancreas was sabotaged by my overabundance of pregnancy hormones), and have gestational diabetes.

I cried for a few minutes hours to get used to the idea of a) being a diabetic and b) not being able to have carbs or sugar for the holidays.  Think about that last one for a while.  Turkey, but no stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls, or pie.  No alcohol, obviously, but also no sparkling cider.

I was floored.  I've been pretty darn conscientious about what and how much I eat.  I've been exercising some.  The doc reassured me it's just genetics, and I only barely didn't pass the test (I was three points off the last blood draw).  Well, cussedy cusswords.

Now, I get to check my sugars four times a day and go on a diet that I think might drive me to the brink.  I still have a phone meeting with the dietician, and I have lots of questions.  Hopefully, I'll be able to post some fun holiday recipes that are diabetes friendly.  Also, I probably won't gain a gazillion pounds, for which I will be grateful when February rolls around.  And most importantly, Crusher will be healthier and under 13 pounds.  Hopefully.

Pregnancy Brain

I've been thinking about this post for a while, and recent events compel me to finish it and publish it.

My brain is dying slowly.

Think I'm being melodramatic?  Consider these happenings:

• I just tried to steam broccoli with no water in the pot.  That can melt the pot.  Thankfully, I was hungry enough to wonder why my water hadn't started boiling and looked.
• I turned up the south hill instead of down to drive to work.  The same work I've been driving to every day for five years.  I was late that day.
• I forget the names of my coworkers... some of whom I talk to every day.
• I forgot that the oven was hot after baking cupcakes and burned my arm.  I then forgot to take the cupcakes out of the oven.  It took a good long soak to wash the burnt cake off.

And these are just the things I remember.  I'll poll David to see if there are more later.

Fun and not-so-fun

It's fun being smack in the middle of the second trimester - I have a bump!  My hair is fantastic! I can wear stretchy pants every day and no one says anything!  

The things I really like:

Funny conversations with strangers

At Ross yesterday, we were looking at baby clothes when a complete stranger asked if I was pregnant. She then started a conversation about hospitals (I should change mine) and how she was in the hospital for five days because of a third degree episiotomy.  Which she then explained further.  I will spare you the details, both now and in the future, as my perinium is something I will not describe to anyone but my doctor.  You're welcome.

I was serious about my hair

It never falls out and doesn't get greasy.  I washed my hair on Tuesday and it looked fantastic all week. I only washed it on Saturday because the idea of it was grossing me out.  The actual hair looked great!

  

Feeling Crusher move

Followed closely by...

David feeling Crusher move

Hearing Crusher's heartbeat with an app on my phone

Having an excuse to look at baby things

And when I cry looking at cute things, people think I'm cute and not weird.  At least that's what they say.

The things I miss:

• Soft cheese, especially a nice herbed chevre.  Or maybe blue cheese on salad.  Feta... mmm... feta.... Cotija too.  Goshdarnit.
• Turkey sandwiches (especially this summer, when it was a serious craving)
• Cold beer on a hot day

If I could get rid of one symptom of pregnancy, it would be:

1st trimester:  nausea

2nd trimester:  round ligament pain

I could also do without swollen feet and acne.  My body's taking the pregnancy "glow" a step too far with that.

Additional Notes:

This afternoon, David picked up a 17.5 pound weight and handed it to me, saying, "No wonder you're tired!  You've been carrying this around all day."  That makes me feel a lot better about coming straight home and crashing on the couch.  Especially since most of those pounds are right smack in my belly.

Speaking of my belly, I noticed today at work that all my coworkers say hi, glance at my face, then drop their eyes straight to the belly where they stay for the remainder of the conversation.  Hello!  My eyes are up here!

bump!

At 19 weeks, 4 days

At 22 weeks, 6 days

The little boy in the bump!

First Days

The first day of school was a minor disaster.  My computer refused to turn on even though it worked fine the day before and the week before that.  I called the tech guys, and was on the phone on hold as my 1st period class was wandering in.  At 7:54, while I'm still on the phone, the mom of my student with autism walks in to chat.  Class starts at 8.  She's talking to me.  The tech guy is talking to me.  I'm trying to make sure the students know where to sit and what to get out.  I have nightmares like this.

I have to chastise two students for being on their phones and threaten to take them away if I see them again.  I choose to ignore the eye-rolls for now.

I have to have a stern conversation culminating in this speech with another student:  Tomorrow, when you walk in the door, you either need a schedule change for me to sign or a behavior change.  Your attitude today was completely unacceptable and will not work in this classroom.

And, in a get-to-know-you session, my freshmen homeroom largely had a good time.  Except for the guy who sat on top of the chair back with his ipod blaring.  When I asked him to sit on the seat and remove his ipod, he said in his best I'm-a-freshman-smartass voice, "What if I don't?"  ... And, I admit it, I laughed at him.  To his face.  And replied, "Then you go to the office for defiance.  That's a really stupid thing to get in trouble for on the first day."  Thankfully, he was smart enough to see the sense in that and complied.

Troubling, but not a behavioral problem, is the other freshman wonder who told the class that his fun facts about himself are his love for grape-flavored food and his HATRED of cops (Caps his).  He then told us about a couple of run-ins with the police.  All before the tender age of 14.  All things he could have prevented.  And this week, I had them dream about their ideal futures.  His stopped at 16 with getting a driver's license and "pimping out" a short bus to ride with his friends.  Everyone else wrote about exotic adventures, having families, dream jobs.  The only thing this kid could muster for a job was professional thief.  I tried to talk to him.  I doubt I got through.

But after the first day, we settled into a groove.  My defiant kids stopped eye-rolling and started participating and (gasp) laughing at most of my jokes.  My excited kids are still excited.  The beginning of the year is a good time.

Summer's End

Things I'm trying to soak up before summer's gone:

• Drinking coffee on the deck
• Eating dinner with David outside and lingering through sunset
• Lemonade
• Playing on, in, and around large bodies of water
• Wavy, tousled hair looks great with sunglasses
• Lazy loungy days
• Honeybees
• Staying warm in one layer
• The fullness of all the leaves on the trees hanging over the street
• Lack of crabby teenagers and crabby parents
• Having time to cook anything I want
• Fresh herbs outside to use in any meal I want without paying for them
• Reading a whole book in a day
• Peaches and berries